not for myself but for her, you know, to put her through what i put her through, so -- >> i mean, do you hate yourself for doing that? >> i think i've forgiven myself for what i've done. >> has she forgiven you? >> i think so. i think, you know, she's in a place of forgiveness, and, you know and it just -- i mean, it sucks to have these kind of problems that, like, millions of couples have and everyone has but on such a global level, you know, because everything played out. you know, it was like wildfire and it played out in the media in such a horrible way. you know, like -- which, you know, seemed kind of unfair to me at a point. but, you know, i stood up like a man and took it on the chin. >> i mean, are you completely to blame? i mean, is the life of being with a big hard working movie star all it's cracked up to be? can it be lonely to be that guy?